Today's exercise from Seize the Story is to help develop vivid character pictures. It's a three part exercise:
1. Write a one-line description of a professional boxer without calling him or her a boxer.
2. Write a two-sentence description of a dancer without calling him or her a dancer.
3. Write a three-sentence description of a burglar without calling him or her a burglar.
My addition: these characters are not engaging in their jobs at the time you describe them. They are at the community Christmas buffet.
1. He towered over me with his meaty fists and a nose that was broken in three places. "Sorry sir," I told him. "I didn't mean to. C'mon Tommy... to the back of the line." (I know it's more than one line, but the description almost isn't).
ReplyDelete2. "No you don't." Her voice sounded like music and her hand was gentle but strong as she snatched my hand and twirled me to her side. She was tall and pretty, like a doll, with her hair pulled up tight except for the little curls all around her twinkling face. She wore a pink, flowy dress and she smelled like flowers, a lot like Mama used to. "You boys look fairly starved. Come through the line with me."
3. That was when he caught my eye. He was lurking in the corner, half-hidden in shadows, but I could tell there was a glint in his eye and an ugly smile on his lips. I didn't like the way his eyes ran up and down the pretty lady. She would probably think he was handsome; most women did. I don't know whether it was those big shoulders or the thin moustache and the olive skin. Maybe it was the Spanish accent or the pretty lies he'd say. I didn't know whether to be relieved or not when he gave Tommy and me a nod and slipped out, into the night.
Okay. So the description of the dancer is really three sentences. And the burglar, well, okay, I guess there's description in 5 sentences. But if you take discount "She would probably think he was handsome; most women did" and "I didn't like the way his eyes ran up and down the pretty lady," then it's 3 sentence of description. I kind of had to make it more because of the voice.
DeleteI tried not to gag as I watched Quintrell pile more than half the roast on his plate.
ReplyDeleteJeanine sat straight and tall as if she had a stack of books balanced on her head and did not dare slouch for fear of them all falling down.
Turning, I saw a man in an old worn-out coat and shaggy hair. Howard, I thought. Oh great. Lucky me. I get to have dinner with a criminal. Next thing you know this town is going to get a murderer to run the petting zoo.