The Pigs Got Out of the Pig Pen

Here's Sam's response:

Dear Journal,

Frankie the Chicken ran out of the pig pen with the pigs chasing after him. The machine was almost done. All they needed was mud mixed with pig manure that Frankie was running for dear life with, with the pigs chasing after him.

Hurry, Frankie!” Bobby yelled. “That's the last ingredients we need to finish the machine. And we don't need a chicken that's pig food.”

“I'm a chicken! How do you expect me to run faster than pigs? We were designed to be bad runners, you know. Why don't you try running faster than slobbery pigs?”

“I got the spit,” Bobby huffed.

“Out of your own mouth,” Frankie sneered.

“Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Try and fly over the fence of the chicken coop so the pigs can't catch you,” Bobby urged.

“Chickens can't fly, you know.”

“They can for about three seconds.”

“Yeah. And that's going to get me over the fence?”

“Look! A human's coming. Maybe he'll scare the pigs away.”

“Maybe. And maybe he'll just eat us for supper.”

“Remember, that's the last ingredients we need. We'll be eating him for supper.”

“What if it doesn't work?”

“The owl said it would. Owls are the smartest creatures in the whole world.”

“Oh. The human's just driving his car to work. Okay. I'm going to try flying. One... two... three... four...”

Just then, Frankie flew over the fence and fell into the chicken coop.

“Yrgradhgrrahhyyrrstch.”

“Pig talk,” Frankie said.

“Didja get it? Didja get it? Didja get it?” Peater asked.

“Yes. I got it.”

“Okay. Then let's fire up the machine.”

“Who'd like to push the button?”

“Duckie, would you like to?”

“Yup! Yup! Yup!”

“Now all the chickens in the barnyard will become gigantic!”

“Yay!” all the chickens yelled.

“Three... Two... One... Pushing!” Duckie said.

“I'm a vegetarian,” Jakey said.

“You don't have to eat them. We just want to for the fun of it. You can just sit down and play around.”

All of a sudden, before anyone could say another sentence, they all grew as big as a barn.

“Yay! Eeeee! Yeah! Yeah! Yay!” all the chickens yelled.

“Wyagyack,” Wakey the Pig said.

All the pigs ran out of the pig pen with a whole bunch of giant chickens chasing them.

“I'm gonna eat you with a side of bacon,” Duckie said.

“They are bacon,” Frankie corrected.

“Well, then I'm gonna eat you with a side of lettuce.”

“I'm tired,” Sleepy yawned.

“Well, we have some humans to eat and a world to take over. Let's see how they like being eaten with basil and garlic.”

“I'm gonna eat them with barbeque sauce,” Wookie said.

“The chickens are coming! The chickens are coming!” the maid of the house said.

“The sky is falling,” Chicken Little said.

“You mean the rain is falling from the sky.”

“No. The sky is falling!”

They looked up and saw a whole bunch of army helicopters trying to bomb them.

“We need to fly up and grab those helicopters. Can anyone fly?”

“I can fly for four seconds,” Frankie said.

Well, that will do.”

“What does this button do,” Sleepy asked.

“No! That will shrink us!”

Psshew. They all started to shrink.

“What does this button do?” Sleepy pointed to a red button that said DO NOT PUSH.

“No! That's self-destruct! DO NOT PUSH!”

Sleepy pushed it.

“Now we're going to be eaten with basil and garlic. And it's all Sleepy's fault.”

“What did I do?” Sleepy asked.

Love,

Sam

2001